FICTION IN THE POST PANDEMIC
Hi All,
Here we are with Episode 23. I’m posting this one fairly close to Episode 22, so my fans (aka readers) are not hanging on breathlessly with nothing to fill the void in their lives.
What I’d suggest during gaps in Mrs Mac’s adventures is to tune into ABC iView and watch “Fisk” Series 3; it’s a cracker like the others. Whenever, I’m feeling a little blue (as apposed to something old, something new, something borrowed…), I like to tune in to Kitty Flanagan and gang and have a laugh.
But hey, I’m back, so tune into to my series and perhaps ask your friends to do so too.
I found the prompts for this month’s episode to be a little constraining. They say never to work with animals and children and this month I am supposed to conjure up a kid…..not something I often do. I mean Tiffany is almost a kid, but she’s a little different.
Anyway here are the prompts from the Australian Writers Centre, Furious Fiction contest:
Your 500-word or less story had to contain the following:
Child, under 16 years, had to be the focus
Two colours had to appear in the first sentence
The words “Bumper” “Prize” and “Impossible” had to be used.
But first a quick recap. In Episode 22, we had Mrs Mac ready to jump in her limousine and head off to Southampton cruise ship terminal to board her favourite ocean liner, the Queen Mary 2. But silly old Henry, who she thought she’d kicked to the kerb, made a spontaneous appearance. She took his bunch of roses, signed him up to her WhatsApp group and sent the pathetic pensioner on his way. But she was a little elated that he’d come back into her life.
Let’s take up the story.
Mrs MacPhillamy opened the door to the limousine driver with glee, until she caught sight of the threatening grey skies that had replaced the bright blue of an hour earlier.
Nonetheless she would not be daunted, the day was going well. Her Louis Vuitton bags were packed for the three-month world cruise, her travel companions were outside ready to go and Henry – who she’d written off as a lover – had unexpectantly turned up on her doorstep with flowers.
She had enjoyed accepting his over-theatrical apology and flirting just a little, with the promise she’d send him a postcard from Cairo if she hadn’t been sold into white slavery beforehand.
Now ensconced in the commodious vehicle, with room for her 16 suitcases and steamer trunk, they were on their way to Southampton to board in time for the safety drill and cocktails.
“Damn. Who’s this?” Mrs Mac groaned as her phone trilled from deep within her handbag.
“Answer that, Tiffany dear,” she asked her granddaughter.
“It’s Clementine, grandma….she says it’s urgent.”
“Who?”
Marjorie the housekeeper, the third member of the travelling trio, cut in.
“Your other granddaughter Madam…your daughter’s child…the girl twin, Clem…”
“Yes, yes Marjorie. Hand me the phone Tiffy…”
“Hello Clementine darling… Wishing grandma bon voyage dear? That’s so sweet…
“What! You’ll see us in Southampton — When? What on earth for?”
The blood drained from Mrs Mac’s face as she heard the excited babblings of the pre-teen explain that the family was not farewelling grandmother at the wharf but in fact joining her on the cruise.
“Guess what. Mummy won the cruise as a prize at the polo, grandma. And guess what else…She’s too busy to come. So, it’s just me….”
Mrs Mac hung up.
“Hip flask Tiffy …. now!”
The car sped towards Southampton as visions of three months aboard the Queen Mary 2 with nothing but tropical breezes, ballgowns and Bollinger faded before her eyes. She took a long hard swig.
She’d sort this out with her daughter. She’d sort this out with the captain. It was impossible. No 12-year-old child would be galivanting unsupervised aboard an ocean liner? What about schooling, what about parental responsibility?
However, Clementine, the purser informed Mrs Mac as she boarded the ship, was already in her stateroom.
“Really, is she now?”
“Yes, Madam, your grandchild is in cabin 709 just down the corridor. She’s supervising the butler unpack her bags — she seems to have brought a bumper crop of outfits. Takes after her grandmother there.”
Mrs Mac wanted to wipe that cheery smile off his face.
Clementine and her twin Darius were far from her favourites – spoilt beyond words, lazy and, well while it pained her a tad to admit it, stupid to boot.
Mrs Mac needed a plan – she ordered a bottle of gin and gathered Tiffany and Marjorie.
“Do you want me to throw her overboard Grandma and then toss in a lifebuoy,” Tiffy giggled.
Mrs Mac seemed to consider it. “No dear. Babysit the brat. Take it in turns. Marjorie what do you know about white slavery?”
Well folks – jeepers creepers! No sooner does Mrs Mac get rid of one social climber (even if she did have the feels for him) than her annoying, over-indulged second granddaughter, gets in on the act. What will happen now? Is grandma stuck with the kid for 100 days. Do they have enough Bluey videos in the library or whatever Clementine is viewing these days? One thing’s for sure, Mrs MacPhillamy has a lot of thinking…and drinking (OK, more drinking) to do.
And here’s a pictorial hint as to what just might be involved in the next episode. So stay tuned!
Until next time………
If you’d like to create your own non-award winning comedy series like me, one way to go is to enter the monthly Furious Fiction competition. Here’s the trusty link to the Australian Writers’ Centre, which also offers writing courses. https://www.writerscentre.com.au/furious-fiction/
Thanks to unSplash for the excellent photos: https://unsplash.com/
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